Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
