Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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