Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
