I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize