were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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