I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
