I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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