guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize