I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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