wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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