i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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