I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
