But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
