My sheets look like a crime scene.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
