The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i was born a porn star she said
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
