this boner is exhausting
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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