Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
