Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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