I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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