I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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