another moral hangover. fuck.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
