one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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