wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
