I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
