as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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