I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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