you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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