Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
