Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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