So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
