What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Alive.
So much puke
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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