After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
