you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
