I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
