I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
