I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
