I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
