So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize