One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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