she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my being single is dangerous.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
