Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
