When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
