i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
