its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
of course. lets lasso hookers.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
