So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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