I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
