She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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