im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
