Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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