Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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