she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
