where am i from again
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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