So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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