This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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