im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize