Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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