Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
