Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Randomize
