My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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