addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
