i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
