Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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